


What's in the Name?

by The_Marron



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, or at least my attempt at it, there's no kylo fic without feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 21:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5682025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Marron/pseuds/The_Marron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've joined our trash compactor.</p><p>Inspired by a scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.</p><p>Hux learns the origin of Kylo's name, Kylo rages and plots murder, Leia deserves better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in the Name?

**Author's Note:**

> That's what happens when your friends share their headcanons with you. 
> 
> Don't do it at home, kids.
> 
> I want to apologize to Mr, Lucas, Mr. Spielberg and Indiana Jones.  
> And Leia, who deserved more appropriate meeting with her son.

It was all Hux's fault.

How could a pen-pusher such as Hux even think about going with the troops to the battle was beyond Kylo's understanding.

But no, of course, the bloody maniac had to see for himself another planet falling to the First Order and soak in his glory, maybe gloat a little. Who knew what was going on under this stiffly combed red hair of his.

If Kylo felt particularly kind (and Hux was not within an ear-shot) he would even admit that the general was a decent strategist. If he was in especially amiable mood (doubtful), Kylo would say that the general was respected among the troops and that his presence truly increased the morale. Not that Kylo cared for troops. But, fine, the _Finalizer'_ s crew worked better with Hux and his ego present on the bridge.

Still.

It was all his fault that they were right now holed up in a cell in the base of Resistance.

Kylo couldn't phantom what exactly the Supreme Leader saw in Hux to make him the commander of the flagship of the First Order if the man couldn't even see that rebel's blaster shot coming.

If one was placed in a control over a ship, it could be safely assumed that they could pay attention to their surroundings. Or so Kylo thought.

"That's the final proof of your incompetence." He informed Hux, who was standing in their cell, looking as if he wasn't in any way perturbed. Poser.

The glare Hux sent him would have killed a lesser man.

"And yet here you are, sharing the fruit of my incompetence with me." The general replied archly. Ungrateful bastard.

"I saved your life. For the record, I deeply regret it." He did. The moment he decided to jump to Hux's rescue, the rebels figured out that the man protected by _the_ Kylo Ren must be someone important. And started to attack both of them in earnest, deciding to cut off the snake's head instead of simply killing stormtroopers.

Further proof that stormtroopers were useless, even as human shields. All they could do was die, run off and gossip about newest ships. Pathetic.

Just like Kylo himself, apparently, because he did, in fact, run to Hux's rescue out of his own free will. The thought that Snoke probably couldn't care less about Hux's well being, having many suitable candidates to fill general's shoes came to him when they were both already prisoners. He really had no excuse as to why exactly he protected Hux.

Possibly the light side was still trying to win him back or something. Maybe on some subconscious level he had come to terms with the fact that there could be worse people he could be forced to work with than Hux. He couldn't imagine anyone more annoying than Hux and his superiority complex, not to mention his obsessive control streak and lack of any respect for Kylo, but possibly there were such people. Somewhere.

It didn't matter.

What was done was done, the scavenger from Jakku once again bested him at fight, this time destroying his lightsaber instead of his face, and even Force couldn't help much against the whole unit that surrendered them. Who would have thought that rebels were so strong in numbers, if he remembered correctly, they had twelve X-wings at best.

"Well, I saved yours back at the Starkiller, and I am not exactly asking anyone for a medal. Unlike some." Kylo was exhausted, but he made a valiant effort to force-choke the man in front of him. With his mind. It didn't work.

Maybe he should simply strangle him right now. The Resistance might appreciate that and let him go. Doubtful, but tempting.

"There's a big advantage to this situation, though." Hux mused as he finally remembered that he was only a human and not exactly inspiring any morale raise in Kylo by standing proudly, and sat down.

"Which is?" Kylo asked, following the suit.

"Your terrible excuse of a lightsaber is finally gone. Maybe the Repair Fund will become redundant. No fun in destroying the room empty handed, right?" Before Kylo could respond, he sensed someone approaching.

A very distinct presence, one he hadn't felt in years, yet remembered all the same.

General Organa stopped in front of their shared cell.

"I couldn't believe it when they told me. "She started, her voice heavy with emotion, yet unwavering.

Kylo wished desperately for his mask to magically materialize on his head. Unfortunately, mask was sharing the fate of his lightsaber, laying broken and forgotten somewhere in the forest.

"Ben, it is you." She said tenderly. And there it goes. He could _feel_ Hux's surprise.

"It is not. Ben is dead." He responded, ignoring the _you drama queen_  vibe coming from his cellmate. Hux couldn't understand. He probably wouldn't recognize emotion if it came to him and punched HIM in the face. If it wrote a nice application paper however, alongside a properly filled out report...

General Organa didn't seem to be very moved either. Maybe that was the problem with all the generals.

They gave you the rank, you threw away your 'How Do I Emotion' guidebook away.

"We have plenty of time. You will come back." She stated, and Kylo felt the Force around her, as if it wanted to show him that she was right. She wasn't. For sure. There was no Ben.

"Ben will not come back. He was weak and foolish..." He didn't finish.

"...And haven't changed very much, as you can see, General." Interrupted Hux." In fact, I would gladly return him to you, as long as you are willing to cover the bills for equipment he destroyed. Or at least, let me out." Here, Hux sent General Organa what he probably thought was a charming smile. For Kylo it looked like 'I will murder you' face. That explained why Hux never smiled. He simply never grasped the concept.

It brought Leia's attention to him. She stared at Hux for a while in silence, as if trying to figure him out. Maybe she simply hadn't noticed him before, after all he was quite small when his ego was miraculously under reigns.

"I appreciate your offer, General Hux, but I'm afraid we cannot let you go. I am sure there are many things that you could tell us before you are... free." She finished, as if 'free' wasn't exactly the word she wanted to use. 'Dead' would be probably more accurate. Maybe if he asked nicely, she would let Kylo watch the interrogation...

For some reason, this thought didn't bring him any joy. In fact, something like dread filled him at the mere idea of Hux being tortured. Strange.

He glanced at the man.

While his facial expression didn't change, there was something in his eyes that spoke of fear. Hux didn't feel fear. well, he didn't feel anything aside from contempt, true, but nevertheless, it was not something Kylo wanted to see on the general's face.

"An honest threat, I appreciate that." Was all that Hux replied.

"Though, you don't need to do much to make me talk." Here, Hux sent him particularly dark look." One week in one cell with Kylo Ren, and I will probably tell you everything you want to know." Ungrateful bastard.

Screw the sinking feeling, he will personally interrogate Hux and enjoy it.

The slight change in the Force was his only warning.

" _Kylo Ren_? That's how you call yourself?" General Organa asked, incredulously. "We named our dog Kylo." She said, out of the blue addressing Hux.

Was that 'general' thing? Bonding over his distress?

Amusement was rolling off Hux in _waves_. Bastard. After they have escaped from here, Kylo was going to murder him himself. 'It was an unfortunate accident, Supreme Leader. He simply fell to the lava pit during our escape, there was nothing I could do! I miss him already!'. Ah, dreams.

"I couldn't go around as Ben Ren, could I?" He muttered. There it goes, his final humiliation. Maybe Hux will die of shock. After all, he probably never experienced 'laughter' before.

He did snort, though.

Kylo risked a look at the woman Ben once called mother. There was something in her eyes, something like fondness.

"You always had an aptness for dramatics." She said finally, and when Hux muttered something akin to _I told you he hasn't changed_ , the both of them shared some kind of understanding look.

Oh, Vader save him, how he hated generals.

With the last look at Kylo, General Organa went away.

He tried to call Force to him, concentrating hard of bending the bars and forming an exit. Hux could stay here for all Kylo cared, but he was definitely going back to the Finalizer.

"The dog?" And, there it goes, the ultimate reason to kill Hux once and for all."You named yourself after the dog?" And he started laughing. Had Kylo not been full of rage he would probably notice that Hux had a nice laugh. Yet, since his mind was occupied with envisioning many ways he could strangle the general without using the Force, this particular conclusion came to him much later.

 _It would be counterproductive to kill him after you got yourself in this mess to save him_. He reminded himself.

"I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog." He replied, congratulating himself on not lashing out. Maybe truly the fact that he hadn't had his lightsaber with him somehow helped his self-control. "And now do shut up and let me free us from here."

Few hours later, they were running through the halls of the base, Kylo guiding them,following the Force to the entrance, or a hangar at least, while Hux shot at everything but the rebels. And people made fun of imperial stormtroopers, really.

"We should take a starship, don't you think?" Hux shouted at him, and since his focus was onto something else, he actually managed to shoot someone. Kylo was almost impressed.

But they had more pressing concerns.

"And brainwash ourselves a pilot while we are at it!" His plan assumed that they would take cover outside of the base, find his lightsaber and simply wait for _the Finalizer_ to pick them up. After all, Hux probably installed the tracker somewhere on his robes. Again. He should finally ask him why he always does that.

"You are Solo's kid and you cannot pilot a ship?!" Hux roared. They both stopped, finding cover behind an X-wing.

"Fuck you." Kylo snapped back, not caring that this could be his last words. There were worse words to die with, like 'there's another Skywalker', or 'my father's revenge is complete.'

"Maybe later." Before he could comprehend all the implications of that statement, Hux managed to make his way to X-wing's cockpit.

"We are lucky that at least one of the commanders of our ship actually knows how to fly one." Still processing Hux's previous words, Kylo took the shooter's seat in silence.

He couldn't exactly remember how they did it, but he suspected that Hux was much better at shooting people from ships and Death Star's wannabies than at doing that with a simple blaster, because they actually made it.

He went through debriefing and medical check-up, as well as Snoke's call in a daze, and only when he was finally sitting in his quarters, grandfather's mask back in his place, he noticed that they left his saber and his mask down on this rotten planet, and that he had not said a thing because of two words Hux had uttered in a spur of the moment.

Fuck Hux, seriously, all of this was his fault.

...

Hux's laugh came to Kylo's mind.

And the glint of fear in his eyes when...

Not to mention that night when he truly saved Kylo's life... The way he looked at Kylo in something almost like concern...

...

Fuck Hux.

That's an idea.


End file.
